It’s the Little Things in Life

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Mmm! A spoonful of delicious, forbidden granola from the palace of the worksite. I’ve been there. It’s like a prison. The men call it Auschwitz, but it’s formally known as the “lodge”.
If you like the luxuries but you mind not having friends, this place is for you. There’s a mudman who works for the rigs I befriended. He smuggled two bags of the granola out of there. He’s pretty much my dealer for granola and Starbucks tea.

It’s truly the little things in life you come to treasure and appreciate here.
One of them being a toilet. Imagine having to go to the bathroom outside, whip your pants down, and pee before someone drives by. You learn tricks though. You come to learn how to pee in a bucket in the back of an MTC and when you discover that, it definitely FEELS like a luxury. There’s technique to be learned though. It only takes urinating on the seat of your own pants once and having to sit in it the rest of the day to teach you to make sure they are out of the way!
And going number 2? There is no woman who can take a graceful sh*t in the woods. After a long hike, it’s a “stop, squat, and plop”. And then you bury it like an animal, but with your eyes closed pretending it never happened. No, it was not that color, and no it did not just smell like that.

The worst part? You get into the habit of peeing outside your car door like its a normal thing. The first time in the city when you feel the urge and reach for the door handle, you realize you must make it to a bathroom. Quickly. How did you ever hold it long enough before? The memory eludes you, and you pee shamelessly in the darkness of the Calgary Zoo Parking lot anyways.

The end.